Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Pervert art doll targets West London yoga babes

A young woman today described her horror at being attacked at home whilst in the middle of a solo home yoga session by a pervert art doll.

Amidts sobs, Debbie Chintzowitz, an account manager
from Chiswick, described her horror by reading from a carefully worded statement: "I was doing the 'cat' position, to stretch my lower back. Then I heard panting behind me, and a man-sized art doll was touching himself provocatively.

"He asked me if I could give him a 'happy finish' with some sandpaper. I refused, so he turned nasty. Thankfully, I had a tin of woodworms in the fridge. When I threatened to set them loose on him, he scarpered."

The Met police issued a warning to women in the West London area. Chief Inspector Juliet Bravo warned: "From this crime, we've discerned a disturbing, criminal pattern. It's obvious that the pervert is targeting lycra-clad women peforming yoga exercises at home in the West London area. So we're urging any woman performing yoga exercises at home, particularly in tight lycra clothing, in West London to be vigilant, but not vigilanté."

Sage advice.

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