Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Albus Dumbledore, sensationally came out as gay today. Despite celebrations from London's gay community, however, Dumbledore was quick to distance himself from what he called the "mincing gay pride crowd."Bovver boots
Speaking from his office in Hogwarts. "I'm not like those other gays - mincing about London's Old Compton Street in bottomless chaps and bovver boots, crowing about how many cock rings I have. They-re-so-clichéd," he lamented.Attack of the clones
He went on: "I dress just like the other wizards here and know how to have a laugh with the lads. They don't feel threatened by me. I think I'm unique in that respect - so don't you dare compare me to those gay pride clones."Revenge of the sith
However, according to a PCP source deep in Hogwarts, Dumbledore is not the only gay in the village. "Quite a few of the wizards are gay," said our source, "but they're all just like the other lads, except gay. They dress the same as us, hang out with us, drink the same stuff. There's not a stereotypical homosexual man among them. They're all pretty cool."The phantom menace
The PCP challenged Dumbledore with this new information but he threatened to turn us into frogs. Tags:
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