Madonna to get another orpan

The PCP has learned that skeleton-on-strings pop psycho, Madonna, is on the hunt for orphan children. The deranged Kabbalah priestess is poised to adopt a new child to add to her growing collection.

And, once again, she is looking to pluck a child from total obscurity, rescue it from third world poverty, and boost its otherwise bleak chances of survival and nurture it back to health – and hope.

She is expected to find an orphan in Liverpool later today.