School grinners

He MAY talk like his tongue is swollen with the sting of a thousand bees, but Jamie Oliver is the inspiration for my latest Dead Ringers sketch.

SLAMS BREAKS. Whoa. Wait. I'm getting a little ahead of myself there. To rewind a little, I'm trying to get into writing comedy. I'm targeting my first batch at Dead Ringers.

However, I've never submitted any comedy sketches to any show before so I might be being naíve. So what's wrong with that? At least I'm competing work: I've drafted about 8 sketches now and none of them make me want to kill myself. They just make me want to strangle the idiot that wrote them. Oh.

Ok, I know, I have a non-existent portfolio. I have no 'whites', or screen credits. And Dead Ringers may be aiming high. But why aim low?

Sometimes I get that manic depression symptom* where I read the material and think "Holy shit! You've cracked it man! You can outwrite them all! This isn't comedy - it's genius. Terrific, terifying genius!", and love the material so much I want to rip the words off the laptop screen and kiss each and every one of them. Then, other times I read them and sink into a deep melancholy, where I want the words to jump out of the screen and beat me to a pulp for me putting them together in such a lame, insulting way.

When I'm crisp and even, though, I look at the sketches, or skits as my American buddies call 'em , reckon they have potential. Need some work, but have potential. And at that moment, I desperately want to see them make it onto the screen one day soon. Why wouldn't I? There the funniest things I've seen in a long time.