Britain's top dog food manufacturer has announced Ukrainian feral child, Oxana Malaya, as the new face of Pedigree Chow.
According to a company press release, Malaya, who was raised by feral dogs, was selected "because of her uncanny ability to connect with dogs and human beings alike."
However, when the PCP spoke with Head of Pedigree Chow Marketing, Frank Whanckerman, he told us that there was more to it.
Whanckerman said: "Dude, she's like totally feral. It's not an act. You couldn't make it up. It's just...just awesome. This is the kind of funny shit we make up in marketing meetings but...she's just so real. I was, like at the screen test, you know, drinking a few beers, and she crawls in. Crawls! I was all like 'what the fuck?!' We've totally got to use her. It's just, just so funny, you know? It's like, if someone doesn't use her for a dog food commercial...well, fuck, man, you know?
"Anyway, check this out. At this screen test, we're like, in the studio and she's like, you know, bounding about the studio on all fours, cocking her leg and peeing on the cameras and stuff...pretty gross. We're all like - 'that's pretty feral behaviour!' Ha ha ha! She IS though - that's what's so funny about her! She came up and stuck her nose right up at my arse - can you believe that? I usually have to pay for that. It's brilliant for me and brilliant for Pedigree Chow.
"We didn't even have to pay her anything. We kinda just gave her guardian like £1,000 - nothing to us but shit-loads to them. For a laugh, we gave like Oxana a fake cheque, that I actually drew - with a pen - and she can't even tell the difference between that and a real one. It's just brilliant - so funny. So we've got her for nothing. How inspired is that? It's just a marketer's dream! End of."
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