The Met police chief, Ian Blair, today confirmed that he will be arming his Armed Response Unit with snowballs. Blair said: "The recent snowfall may have brought most of London to a standstill, but serious crime continues to flourish. Although criminals, like ordinary Londoners, cannot use any tube or overground trains becuase of this catastrophic 2 inch snowfall, they are using alternative means such as walking."
But Blair has cunningly turned the freak weather conditions to his advantage, by issuing snowballs to armed response police to hurl at weapon-wielding crooks.
Blair continued: "No-one can resist a snowball fight. Be it happy-go-luck school kid or hardened, sawn-off shotgun-carrying career criminal. So our plan is to despatch officers to a crime scene, where they take cover, and draw the crook into a snowball fight by pelting him. It's idiot-proof. Plus, are armed response unit has taken to killing innocent civilians, so snowballs are safer for the general public. "
4 comments:
Love it. I imagine the Armed Response Unit will be sitting in a giant puddle today wondering what happened.
the Met aren't stupid. They've refrigerated their 'meat wagons' to enable year-round supply of ammo.
Of course, how stupid of me! No wonder I failed the Met entrance exam.
Just cos u failed the Met exams doesn't mean that all hope is not lost.
If you still want to play detective/bad cop, I hear the guys over at PR Weak - http://prweak.blogspot.com/ - are looking for good a mixture of investigative skills and ability to put the boot in.
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